Matthew 6:33

Hi girls!  I want to preface this blog post with an apology.  This was written a while ago.  I also want to extend an invitation to all of you to come to our fun and fellowship night at church on February 7th!  Bring a snack to share and a game to play and come enjoy some fun with your girlfriends.  It helps to get out of the house in the middle of winter.  Nehemiah center at church at 7!

This weeks memory verse takes me to a very familiar part of my bible.  I've spent many hours of my christian life going over Matthew chapter 6.  I've been known to label myself a worrier, but as time goes on I'm realizing something about myself.  I'm not as much as a worrier as I am a control freak.  I like things how I like them.  For as much as I've read and meditated on this chapter in the bible, God is giving me a fresh perspective on it.  I've read this weeks memory verse in a few different translations.  I'm still not sure what translation this week's card is from.  It doesn't matter.  What I love is that when I pray and ask God to give me some insight on how to apply this to my life He never lets me down.  Last week's verse was about being faithful in the ministry God has given us.  That brings me to this weeks verse....

But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants.  Then the other things will be yours as well.  Matthew 6:33

Usually when we hear this verse we think.....seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.  This version says put God's work first.  My mind automatically wanted to go into the worry aspect of chapter 6 and how we are told that God provides what we need and that we should chase after the things of this world but we should see God and his righteousness above all else.  For some reason I couldn't sort that out on paper.  While those are all really great truths and I've worked hard the past several years to apply those to my life, God had something else to say to me on this one.  I felt the nudging of the holy spirit this week asking me if I was really truly putting God's work first in my life.  The simple answer is yes and NO.  When I think of God's work in the perspective of my ministry outside the home the answer would be yes.  When I think of it in regards to the ministry God has given me within my home the answer is emphatically NO.  

I have many kind hearted friends who love me dearly who will tell me that I'm doing a great job with my kids and that I'm a good wife to my husband.  I suppose if you were on the outside looking in you would probably say the same thing.  Most of us would say that about each other within the church or at least I hope we would.   The verse doesn't ask me if I'm doing a good job though.  It asks if I'm putting God's work first.  Honestly I'm not.  I'm selfish and lazy.  GAH this is painful to write.  But I have to write it because I refuse to listen to the lie of the enemy that I am the only one who struggles in this area.  I could make a list of the things I put before God's work.   That thought alone frightens me terribly.  I'll list some things here.  This is not an all encompassing list and it is subject to change on a daily basis.   

                -  Facebook, Pinterest, and All things screen oriented

                -  Sleep 

                -  Socializing 

                -  Hobbies

                -  Vacations/Comfort/Running away from life

Ok so if you look at each one of those, on their own none of them is bad.  But I'm going to break it down for you so you can really see how this stuff gets ahead of God's work in my life.  So first of all, I'm guilty of looking at my phone (Facebook etc) first thing in the morning.  Is that bad?  No not necessarily but I look at my phone after I've gotten up an hour later than I should have after staying up too late watching things on tv I shouldn't have.  Then while barely awake and somewhat cranky I get my kids out the door to school and then I attempt to sit down for my quiet time.  That time usually gets consumed by talking on the phone and texting and then there is a really good possibility that I'll be meeting one of my friends for lunch or coffee.  By the time I get home in the afternoon I'm tired.  I try to figure out something for dinner and squeeze in some time to knit or read.  Everyday or most days anyway carry on in this fashion until I'm exhausted with my life that I need to get away to "rest".  

Wow I just reread that.  It makes me kind of nauseous admitting that but I've sworn to be transparent with all of you so there you have it.  I want my life to have an eternal impact.  It won't if I continue on this way.  I love Jesus.  He deserves so much more than what I'm giving him.  He doesn't want me to waste my already short life like that paragraph up there!  Our lives are but a breath, a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow.  I want to be a good steward with the time God has given me and use it for kingdom work.  I'm making a plan to make some changes.  I'll keep you posted.  I hope that this inspires you to look at where you might not be putting Gods work first in your own life.  I love you sisters!  Have a great week.  

Colossians 4:17

Happy New Year to all of my beloved sisters in Christ!  I hope that you were blessed over the holidays and that you didn't go up a pants size.  The jury is still out on that one for me, I can still zip, but they are a bit snugger than they were in October.  I love the holidays.   Thanksgiving, Christmas, Christmas Eve, and New Years, but they do take their toll on me.  I get behind because I get so consumed with the festivities and spending time with loved ones that I let some of my responsibilities fall by the wayside.  When January 1st finds me, I'm usually ready with a long list of things I can improve upon in the upcoming 364 days.  This year is no different.  I beat myself up over the past year's shortcomings.  I painfully remind myself of the things that I said I was going to do this year but didn't.  While I start the new year with new ambitions, it is littered with the guilt of not accomplishing all I wanted to at the beginning of last year!  That being said, I'm putting my foot down.  No more guilt.  I'm going to hold my head up and be honest with all of you about my shortcomings and hopefully journey on with what the Lord has planned for me for 2015.  I'm somewhat excited.  That brings me to this blog and our memory verses.  This week we are supposed to be working on week #14.  I'm behind.  So after consulting with a very wise friend I'm giving myself permission to get back to where we belong and start here.  I will list the verses I didn't blog on at the end of this blog.  God of course always reminds me of how real He is and just how close He is to me all day every day.  Imagine my surprise when this was the verse.

Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you.  

Colossians 4:17

Ladies!!!  I cannot stress this enough!  If you are walking in the truth of the gospel and call yourself a Christ follower,  YOU HAVE A MINISTRY!  Not only do you have a ministry, it is special and unique and appointed just for you by God himself.  If you don't know what your ministry is, ask God, ask a friend who knows you well, ask your Pastor.  You have a ministry.  His word tells us that He's planned things for us to do while we're here.  Ephesians 2:10 says For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  He planned for you to have good works to do before he even laid the foundations of the earth!  Does that not blow you away?  Doesn't that make the hair on your arms stand up?  Before God himself created all of this world He planned out what you would do on this earth for His kingdom?  I've been thinking on this for a few days.  When I read the scripture I immediately wanted to start writing.  Mostly because I was really excited, but God put the brakes on and let me think on it a few days. 

Have you ever experienced burn out in your life or ministry?  Have you ever felt worn and tired?  I know I have.  This world is a tough place to be and a tough place to serve.  Experiencing all the brokenness that people carry and the hurt that they deal with on a daily basis can be discouraging and down right heartbreaking some days.  When you encounter person and after person and situation after situation it can really wear you down.  I don't know when or how it happens, but it happens to each and every one of us at one time or another,  we leave Jesus behind.  We start trying to do things in our own strength!  This has happened to me on more than one occasion.  So here's where my New Years resolution comes in.  This year I want to be on Jesus' heals every minute, not dragging him behind me.  If I'm chasing after Jesus there's no way I can get worn out in ministry.  If I'm one step behind him, He'll always be there to guide me!  I won't get lost.  I won't wander down the wide road.  I'm excited for the ministry opportunities that God will give me this year.  Will I serve perfectly?  No.  But I'll serve willingly and joyfully and expectantly.  I'll serve with all I have.  I want to be poured out in this ministry that God has given me.  Poured out for my husband and my children.  Poured out for my girlfriends and my church.  Lord help me to joyfully serve in the ministry that you have just for me and not to selfishly serve myself in 2015.  My life belongs to Christ.

These are the verses I missed.  There's one in particular that I will most likely revisit as it has become a life verse for me.  I'm sure it won't take you much to figure out which one.  

WEEK 10  I will hold you by your right hand I, the Lord your God, and I say to you, don't be afraid.  I am here to help you.  Isaiah 41:13

WEEK 11  Let the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable in your sight O Lord my Redeemer.  Psalm 19:14

WEEK 12  God has said, "I will never fail you, I will never abandon you."  Hebrews 13:5

WEEK 13  He is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Ephesians 3:20

Psalm 105:4

When I started out writing for this blog about 10 weeks ago I made up my mind that I was going to be completely honest and transparent with anyone who was willing to read it.  It's time to fess up to all of you.  I've been completely consumed by Christmas.  The shopping, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, planning, and partying that makes this season so festive, have completely consumed me.    I've been so busy with my holiday preparations that I have spent little to no time in the Word the past couple weeks.  I love this time of year.  I really do.  The music and the lights make my heart flutter.  I don't think I've ever grown up when it comes to Christmas.  Is that really such a bad thing?  Well....I wonder what Jesus thinks of me getting so busy with all the holiday fun that I don't have time to spend with Him.  I've been avoiding writing this post because I haven't been spending time with Him like I usually do.  So I figured I'd better just confess.  Also, if I own up to it like this, chances are I'll get myself back on the right track. 

Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually.

Psalm 105:4

Now I know I'm not alone here.  I know at least one other person reading this loves this time of year even more than I do.  I also know there are probably more than a few of you who are reading this who don't love this time of year.  Maybe it brings up memories that you don't care to think about, or maybe you aren't close to the family you so long to be with.  Either way this time of year can be the most joyful for some and the most painful for others.   Whichever end of the spectrum you find yourself on,  Jesus is there and He never changes.  Psalm 105 tells us to seek the Lord and His strength.  The most obvious ways we can seek His strength is by reading His Word and by praying.   This sounds very trite and simple but it's through these things that we gain intimate fellowship with The Almighty.  Through prayer and reading, He imparts His wisdom to us.  He feeds our souls and nurtures our spirits, teaching and correcting us gently.  So why do we avoid it?  Well, maybe that's not a fair question.  I don't know that I avoid it necessarily.  Right now, I'm just not making time for it.  As I type that, I'm sad.  That's usually my favorite time of day!   

Our lives are so busy.  We allow them to be.  We glorify busy.  Most of the time we are busy doing good things.  But we are busy all the same.  Personally I let the day to day activities consume my mind and my time.  As I think about it in comparison to this scripture, if I were seeking the Lord continually throughout my day, from start to finish, wouldn't my day go much smoother?  Well, it might not go smoother but perhaps my reactions to things would be different.  Maybe my perspective on things would be more godly?  My thoughts, my words, and my actions might be different, even if my day wasn't going as planned.  If I am seeking the Lord and His strength and seeking his face continually surely He would give me some wisdom along the way.   Honestly, I could really use that. I make bad decisions on a daily basis.  It's a gift.  I'm really good at making a mess of my life when I go my own way and do my own thing.  After a few days I can convince myself that I'm right in what I'm doing or how I'm thinking.  The path gets rather wide pretty quickly and before I know it I'm dancing my way down it.  

I want to start a new habit.  I want to make this my new normal.  Seeking His strength and face continually, before anything else and during everything else.  I'm sure there are some of you that have this spiritual discipline.  I really hope to be like you some day.  I can be really good at it for a long time but then life seems to always get the better of me.  Lord help us all to seek your face and your strength every moment of every day for the rest of our lives.  

John 14:15

Well the most hectic, I mean joyful, time of the year is upon us.  I'm officially behind on blog posting.  The Thanksgiving leftovers have been purged from my refrigerator and there is an 8 foot twinkling, glittery, pine scented symbol of the season in my living room.  Company has come and gone and I'm finally getting back into my everyday routine.  I've consumed 5 pieces of Christmas candy and 1 large mug of coffee, so let's talk about this scripture.  I had to laugh because the last blog post ended up centering around obedience, so when I got the next card out, and it was John 14:15, I just smiled and shook my head.

If you love me, obey my commandments.  John 14:15

Let's be honest, obedience is hard.  Ok, it's not always hard, it really just depends on the situation.  As a mother of 4, this is a topic that is discussed at length rather frequently in my home.   I guess I hadn't considered that perhaps my children should obey me because they love me.  Mostly I think they should obey me because I'm in authority over them.  Does Jesus want us to obey out of love or out of the authority that He has over us?  In honestly sitting here searching my heart right now, rarely do I obey out of love.  Most times I'm motivated by guilt, fear, or a plain ol' sense of duty.  Not love.  When Jesus tells the disciples and us to obey his commandments he's talking about all of the

instructions that He has given us in the Gospels and in the rest of the New Testament.  Let's find some examples.   Wow, I just googled (don't you just love google?) New Testament commandments.  One website says there are 1,050 of them.  If you want the website let me know and I'll give you the link.   I'm going to fish out a few that are a struggle for me.

• Bless those who curse you  Matt 5:44
• Cast all your cares upon God 1Peter 5:7
• Think on what is true, lovely, just, pure..... Phil 4:8
• Do not worry about tomorrow Matt 6:25-34
• Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth  Eph 4:29

Ok, this is my short list of things that I struggle to obey in.  I'm a worrier.  I let my mind run away and way over think and over analyze things.  As a people pleaser, I struggle when people "curse me" or don't like me.  I also have trouble controlling my mouth, the things I say, the way I say them and with the color in which I say them.  God is working on me.  Honestly though, I hadn't thought of this as an obedience issue.  I hadn't thought of the obedience issue as a motivation of my heart.  Obeying out of love is foreign to me.  BUT....I want to learn this.  If God is my Father, and He is telling me if I love him then I will obey, He most certainly is telling me this because He loves me and obeying is going to produce something really awesome in my life!  I know some of you are probably reading this and thinking I must be either dumb or really slow.  The answer to that is yes and yes, most of the time.  I shouldn't obey because I feel like I have to, but because I LOVE Jesus.  I do love Jesus.  I just never thought of obedience as an act of love.  THIS IS EXCITING TO ME!

Now that I've thought through this and worked it out in my head and my heart, I want to apply it.  I want to live this out in my walk with Jesus, obeying out of love.  I want to teach this to my children, obeying because they love me, not because I'm the boss of them.  I really think this is a game changer for me!  Where are you struggling to obey?  What things are you doing, or not doing, simply out of duty?  Where you can you add a heart of love to your obedience to your Lord and Savior?  I'll pray you find those spots in your life.  

Isaiah 59:1

I am a chronic complainer.   Rarely does a day go by that I don't find something to complain about.  I also don't really care if my complaining is offensive to those around me.  Most times my griping is legitimate, I mean, in my own mind it is anyway.  I've also realized lately that my complaining flows with my hormones, lack of sleep, and busy schedule.   Is complaining a sin?  Usually when I write, I try to avoid over using the same word.  If that is something that bothers you as a reader, you might want to skip this one.  I've been contemplating this verse all week.  Putting it in context and trying to figure out the application for myself.  Then this morning WHAM...complaining.  I'm a complainer just like the people of Israel.  Probably even as bad as the people griping their way through the desert in Exodus.  I read through that book and think.....WOW,  People!  God was right there raining down food from heaven for you and you still complained about it!   I would never have complained like they did.  Or would I?  Do I complain about the people, places, and situations God has brought me to now?  Ahem....that's a RHETORICAL question.

Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save nor His ear too dull to hear.  Isaiah 59:1

So anyway, I was reading over chapter 59 this morning trying to get my head around what was going on here.   The people (Israel) were complaining that the Lord wasn't able to rescue them.  The true problem though was that they hadn't repented or turned away from their sin.  God wasn't delaying their rescue because He wasn't strong enough to save them.  He wasn't waiting because they were not shouting loud enough for Him to hear them.  He was offended by a very long list of sins that the people were steeping themselves in.  Read the chapter.  This list goes on and on.   Sin had cut the people off from God and that was why He would not listen to them.  Can God rescue us from the problems we face?   Can He break the power of our sin and help us deal with its consequences?   

So how often do we go through our day complaining about the things we have going on?  I know I fall into this trap most days.  Monday, to be exact.  I had fallen into an attitude grumbling about my schedule, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like I couldn't keep on top of things, feeling like my mind wasn't working.  What I wasn't realizing was that my attitude was offensive to God.  I was trying to work out some things for next year's retreat.  I was reading and sorting through some scripture and I couldn't make sense of any of it.  I went to our meeting that night and tried to share some ideas and it just wouldn't come out right.  I was so frustrated.  So since I'm a slow learner, I had to process through this thing the whole rest of the week.  Now it's Friday and I finally get it.  I started complaining (in my head at least) last Wednesday.  That snowballed into me having a yucky heart in church on Sunday and not being able to worship.  I wonder if God was like....Hey Penny, just stop singing, you're offending me.  It carried over into Monday and spilled out at that meeting on Monday night.  Turns out, God has been asking me to do one simple thing and I was dragging my feet on it.  That my friends, is disobedience.  Delayed obedience is disobedience.  Disobedience is sin.  My disobedience led me to complaining which led me to feeling like I wasn't close to God which led me to feel like I wasn't hearing Him and he wasn't hearing me.  YUCK!  I don't like feeling like that.  

I am happy to report that I have since obeyed and gotten some stuff straightened out.  My heart is joyful again and I can hear God again and I am confident that He hears me.  This morning I am really thankful that this was short lived.  I see a lot of my sisters struggle along in sin and disobedience for years.  Sadly, our enemy feeds on this.  He'll whisper in your ear and help you build your case as to why you are right and why you don't need to do this that or the other thing.  Do yourself a favor, obey now and ask questions later.  You'll be much better off.  I wish I had.