This weeks memory verse takes me to a very familiar part of my bible. I've spent many hours of my christian life going over Matthew chapter 6. I've been known to label myself a worrier, but as time goes on I'm realizing something about myself. I'm not as much as a worrier as I am a control freak. I like things how I like them. For as much as I've read and meditated on this chapter in the bible, God is giving me a fresh perspective on it. I've read this weeks memory verse in a few different translations. I'm still not sure what translation this week's card is from. It doesn't matter. What I love is that when I pray and ask God to give me some insight on how to apply this to my life He never lets me down. Last week's verse was about being faithful in the ministry God has given us. That brings me to this weeks verse....
But more than anything else, put God's work first and do what he wants. Then the other things will be yours as well. Matthew 6:33
Usually when we hear this verse we think.....seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well. This version says put God's work first. My mind automatically wanted to go into the worry aspect of chapter 6 and how we are told that God provides what we need and that we should chase after the things of this world but we should see God and his righteousness above all else. For some reason I couldn't sort that out on paper. While those are all really great truths and I've worked hard the past several years to apply those to my life, God had something else to say to me on this one. I felt the nudging of the holy spirit this week asking me if I was really truly putting God's work first in my life. The simple answer is yes and NO. When I think of God's work in the perspective of my ministry outside the home the answer would be yes. When I think of it in regards to the ministry God has given me within my home the answer is emphatically NO.
I have many kind hearted friends who love me dearly who will tell me that I'm doing a great job with my kids and that I'm a good wife to my husband. I suppose if you were on the outside looking in you would probably say the same thing. Most of us would say that about each other within the church or at least I hope we would. The verse doesn't ask me if I'm doing a good job though. It asks if I'm putting God's work first. Honestly I'm not. I'm selfish and lazy. GAH this is painful to write. But I have to write it because I refuse to listen to the lie of the enemy that I am the only one who struggles in this area. I could make a list of the things I put before God's work. That thought alone frightens me terribly. I'll list some things here. This is not an all encompassing list and it is subject to change on a daily basis.
- Facebook, Pinterest, and All things screen oriented
- Sleep
- Socializing
- Hobbies
- Vacations/Comfort/Running away from life
Ok so if you look at each one of those, on their own none of them is bad. But I'm going to break it down for you so you can really see how this stuff gets ahead of God's work in my life. So first of all, I'm guilty of looking at my phone (Facebook etc) first thing in the morning. Is that bad? No not necessarily but I look at my phone after I've gotten up an hour later than I should have after staying up too late watching things on tv I shouldn't have. Then while barely awake and somewhat cranky I get my kids out the door to school and then I attempt to sit down for my quiet time. That time usually gets consumed by talking on the phone and texting and then there is a really good possibility that I'll be meeting one of my friends for lunch or coffee. By the time I get home in the afternoon I'm tired. I try to figure out something for dinner and squeeze in some time to knit or read. Everyday or most days anyway carry on in this fashion until I'm exhausted with my life that I need to get away to "rest".
Wow I just reread that. It makes me kind of nauseous admitting that but I've sworn to be transparent with all of you so there you have it. I want my life to have an eternal impact. It won't if I continue on this way. I love Jesus. He deserves so much more than what I'm giving him. He doesn't want me to waste my already short life like that paragraph up there! Our lives are but a breath, a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. I want to be a good steward with the time God has given me and use it for kingdom work. I'm making a plan to make some changes. I'll keep you posted. I hope that this inspires you to look at where you might not be putting Gods work first in your own life. I love you sisters! Have a great week.
